Alignment, not perfection: the secret to loving your work
Is it possible to “have it all” at work – i.e. a job that’s IDEAL?
It’s one of those questions that haunts high achievers (and if I’m being honest, it haunted me for a long time, too).
Here’s my take: if by ideal you actually mean perfect — then no, it’s not possible.
Because perfect implies flawless, and no job ever is. There will always be some friction, some inconvenience, some “ugh” moments.
But perfect and ideal are not the same thing.
Perfect is fantasy.
Whereas ideal is ALIGNMENT.
Alignment with your core traits, values, talents, emotional needs, and the kind of life you want outside of work.
Yet, here’s the thing: in my decade of HR and as a career coach, I’ve seen over and over that the main reason brilliant, accomplished people struggle to find their ideal work is…
… they’ve never actually defined what ideal work means!
What usually happens is this:
They have sky-high standards. They’re crystal clear on what they don’t want, but fuzzy on what they do want.
So what do they notice most?
Imperfections.
Every bit of discomfort gets magnified, and they start interpreting those irritations as proof they’re in the wrong place.
So they focus on eliminating the negatives, expecting that absence of problems will automatically create the ideal.
But that’s not what happens, because what’s ideal is always more than just the absence of problems.
And without knowing what that ideal actually looks like (and what problems they can accept as part of the package), they go from one disappointment to the next, always wondering if something better is hiding around the corner.
(By the way, I’m not saying any of this with judgment because as a recovering perfectionist, I used to fall into this trap, too.)
Then there are those who are more willing to accept that every job and career path inevitably comes with some problems…
But because they are still not clear on what they truly want (what their ideal looks like), they end up sacrificing even the things that truly matter to them, and live a life of unnecessary compromise.
Here is a different way of thinking about all this:
What’s ideal is not merely the absence of problems (and it’s not perfection either).
It’s the presence of all the crucial ingredients – with a little tolerance for the rough edges.
So yes, it IS possible to “have it all” (your version of ideal). But only if you:
1. Define, in specific terms, what ideal looks like for you.
2. Decide which imperfections you’re willing to live with.
When you do that, three things tend to happen:
First, you reach such powerful clarity on what aligns with you and what doesn't, that you stop wasting time even considering options that don't match your ideal.
Then, as you get better at articulating what you want, you begin finding (and often attracting) opportunities that align with your ideal – faster and with far more ease.
And finally, you find inner peace, because you recognize which flaws are deal-breakers and which ones you can tolerate because they don’t significantly affect the quality of your life.
So how do you define your ideal work?
While we all need different things to feel fulfilled at work, the truth is we all need the same types of things.
So here are the five pillars that consistently show up in research and in practice as the foundations of meaningful and fulfilling work:
Your natural STRENGTHS: the abilities that feel effortless and absorb you so fully you lose track of time. Without them, work feels boring or draining, but when you use them daily, you enjoy your work, and you’re engaged and energized.
Your VALUES: the most important principles in your life that guide you. When they’re violated, you feel a strong internal conflict. But when they’re honored, you feel internal harmony, like you’re in the right place.
Your PURPOSE: the deeper “why” behind your work. Without it, even great success feels empty and meaningless. But when you have a purpose, even hard work feels worthwhile.
Your emotional DRIVERS AND NEEDS: the essential motivators that push you forward. If they’re unmet, you might burn out or disengage. But when they’re met, you feel alive, motivated, and balanced.
Your IDEAL WORK CONDITIONS: the external setup (culture, routines, environment) that aligns with your wider life context and lets you perform at your best. When these conditions aren’t right, even meaningful work may become draining. When they are, you thrive in a way that feels natural and sustainable.
I like to call these pillars your “Architecture of Fulfillment” because they are the building blocks of your ideal career.
Again, as you can see, it all boils down to alignment – between your work, your life, and your true nature.
And I’m excited to tell you I’ve developed a super efficient (and even fun!) process to help you understand your personal architecture of fulfillment.
As a certified Career coach I’ve got a whole toolbox of proven methods designed to help you understand your true nature in the most profound way, and get to the root of what you really want.
But here’s the thing: the reason why you struggle to understand the key elements of your ideal work in the first place...
...is all the blind spots, mental patterns, and stories (which we all have!) that distort how you see yourself and what you believe is possible.
So even when you do understand them, it’s possible you might dismiss them as unrealistic and fail to follow through.
That’s why the most transformative part of working with me is spotting and challenging those mental patterns and stories, and replacing them with more accurate and useful perspectives.
(We do this throughout our work together)
By doing that, you reconnect with yourself in a truer, more empowered way – and your vision of the ideal becomes much clearer.
From there, my role is to help you integrate all those insights into a coherent picture of your ideal work and life – and then turn that into a powerful vision and an action plan to make it happen.
This is the process I use in all my coaching programs because it’s the fastest way to make profound changes in how you feel about your work.
The main way I do it is in my 6-week private coaching program for accomplished but unfulfilled leaders and founders. Full details, including pricing available here.
And here you can see my other coaching services.
If you’re interested in any of my services, just let me know by sending me an email, or DM me on Facebook or LinkedIn and we’ll have a conversation to see which one is a fit. Alternatively, you can schedule a free 30-minute call over Zoom.
To your happy success,
Anita
