Why leaving a bad job can still break your heart
Ever notice how leaving a job or business that doesn’t fit anymore can feel almost… heartbreakingly hard? And how that makes you reluctant to walk away?
That actually makes total sense because what you're likely experiencing is... GRIEF.
You're grieving the life you once had - and the one you imagined but will never experience.
See, grief isn’t only triggered by tragedies or by losing something we genuinely wanted to keep.
Because when you walk away from something that no longer serves you, you’re also walking away from parts that still feel good.
And even if nothing feels good anymore, there’s still something left to grieve: the things that never had the chance to exist - your hopes, your dreams, the experiences you imagined but will never live.
But grief alone isn’t a reason to stay.
If you’ve ever ended a romantic relationship and struggled with nostalgia afterward, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
(Or maybe you were the one who got broken up with and couldn’t understand why the other person was so sad… and then you mistook their sadness for reluctance - maybe even took it as a sign there was still hope? Awkward, right? 😬)
We don’t expect grief to show up when the decision was our own - when the departure was strategic, rational, and long overdue.
(Which is why, of course, we start second-guessing: “If I feel this sad, does that mean I made the wrong choice?”)
But our emotional systems are often slower to update than our rational ones.
You can decide with your head that it’s best to leave, but that doesn’t mean your heart is instantly ready to move on.
Your identity usually needs time before it can let go of what once defined it - especially if it was an identity you spent years, or even decades, building.
In a way, you’re breaking up with your Old Self: the version you once were but no longer relate to, as you’re called to step into a new identity with different priorities and purpose.
Add to that the fear that naturally comes with stepping into the unknown, and of course you’ll doubt your decision and hesitate to follow through.
So how can you tell if these feelings are a sign that you really shouldn’t let go, that it “isn’t over yet”?
Here’s the distinction (and I think you can apply it to romantic relationships as well):
If the grief feels like longing for a reality you truly want to keep living, that’s worth listening to.
But if the grief feels more like mourning the idea of what it was supposed to be (but never was), then it’s simply your heart catching up to what your head already knows.
The first one is a signal you may be walking away too soon.
The second is the natural mourning that comes with shedding an old skin.
That’s the hard part of all major life transitions: figuring out whether your pain is pointing to true loss - or simply to the discomfort of growth.
If this is something you're experiencing right now - feeling unsure about your next career step, wanting to leave, but also feeling strangely attached — then I've got a great offer for you!
"What’s Next?" is a private, 2-hour coaching session that will help you sort through the cocktail of feelings you're experiencing (sadness, fear, doubt, etc.) and empower you to finally make that decision with clarity and inner peace.
You can find the full details here.
As one of my clients said "This was better than therapy!" 😉
If you're interested, you can book the session right away using the link above.
If unsure, just message me on Facebook or LinkedIn and we'll have a chat to see if it's a good fit.
We can also hop on a short Zoom call if you prefer, just click on the button below to schedule your free 30-minute conversation with me.
To your happy success,
Anita
